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30 September 2009 @ 12:36 pm
i'm confused  
Ok, so Brian was trying to hook me up (for lack of a better term) with Mike and Mike was trying to hook me up with Brian. this was a weird thing to happen because I had never openly admitted to liking either one of them. (Though I had crushes on them both at separate times.)

Anyway, when Mike was trying to hook me up with Brian he very off handed-ly told me he's interested in me. Or at least in the idea of me. Totally knocked me off my fucking feet because I hadn't thought of him that way since I first met him. Now that I really think about it, I never stopped liking him. I just pushed the idea out of my mind because he seemed like exactly the kind of person I would have gone for when I was 19ish. Totally cute and goofy and a little bit immature and narcissistic, but the more time I spend with him the more I realize that he's not as much of a tool as I had originally thought. However it is like he puts up this super big facade
(is that even the right word?) for other people and I just wish I could see all the way through it.

Anyway I told him that I want to get to know him better without meaning to because I'm just overly honest like that. And shocking me once again he said that he wants to get to know me better as well. The fucked up thing about this is that (other than some wickedly intense eye contact) he hasn't made any effort at all. Is there anything I can do? I pretty much thought the ball was in his court, and I suck at reading into these things.

Also it doesn't help that our main source of contact other than at work is texting and my texting has been cut off for like two weeks. A good friend once pointed out that you can bring up things in a text that you wouldn't ever talk about in person, and that sure seems to be the case right now. His birthday is this week and he's probably off fucking around with other girls and I'm trying not to think about it even though I'm totally jealous because it's not like i have any claim on the boy..