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21 April 2009 @ 03:43 pm
Online dating rules?  

So . . .

I'm a 21 year old college student, and I've been single since 2007. I go through these phases where I'm absolutely sick of being single, and during my most recent one, I signed up for a couple of dating sites. I wasn't really expecting anything to come of it, I just figured that the more I reach out, the more likely someone is to extend a hand in return. Anyway, after fooling around with that for a little while, one of the guys who I virtually "winked" at on the website IMed me on Thursday. (the first guy who has made a serious effort to contact me outside of the site.) I was a little nervous at first about talking to a guy I hadn't met yet, but then I was extremely excited that someone was interested enough to contact me. We had a pretty good conversation, and we talked for about an hour that night before he signed off to go to bed. The conversation started out with him sort of grilling me on my interests and what I was looking for, but it got more casual by the end. I felt that it went well, and I feel like we may have clicked. Anyway, since this event I've been really anxious to talk to him again, because he seems to have a lot of great qualities. I found him on facebook the next day, and again was pleasantly surprised to see some more really attractive qualities reflected by his page. I added him as a friend on Saturday, with a note saying "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you the other night. I hope we can talk again soon." He accepted the friend request right away, (within the hour) but left no response. However, I haven't heard from him since, and am beginning to get even more anxious and impatient. I checked yesterday and he had deleted his dating profile.

So . . . I have several questions . . .

Does this look good for me? Should I be worried? I really think I like him. : \

Also, what are the expectations, rules, or etiquette of using a dating site? Are there any? Would it be too forward for me to try to contact him again right away? Would that be creepy or stalker-ish? Is there a "right" or "wrong" way to go about this?

Basically, I think I've decided that if he doesn't contact me again within one week, I'm going to refocus and move on. Reasonable?

I always overanalyze everything with guys, but it's so hard when I don't actually know him in person.

Anyway, thanks for your input.

Cross posted to secret_crushes

mood: confusedconfused
heroine pretend ☂enamour on April 22nd, 2009 03:47 am (UTC)
Man, I totally relate to over-analyzing everything. I am actually "talking to" (I don't know another way to put it; we're basically dating, except not officially or anything because he lives in another state) a guy I met online, although it was on a message board and not a dating website. I've been trying SO hard not to over-think things, but it's so hard not to, especially when you can't see someone's physical behavior.

Anyway! I think the plan to wait a week and then move on is a good one. It's possible he deleted his dating profile just because he didn't want it anymore, or it could be because he met someone. It's hard to know. It sounds like he's definitely interested in talking, though.

Good luck! :)